Monday, October 13, 2008

The rather pathetic though still tragic tale of Cousin Fred

(Yes, Bridget, your worst dreams are coming true. I have decided to tell everything!)

Since whenever Bridget and I are around each other (online), vague, threatening allusions to Cousin Fred pop up, this blog will probably be no exception. So therefore, as deeply as it grieves me to have to impart this distressing information to you, my poor, coffee-deprived readers, it is absolutely essential. After reading this, you will no longer be horribly confused and distressed by your lack of knowledge when I mysteriously threaten Bridget with mentions of Cousin Fred!

Bridget killed her Cousin Fred. It is profoundly saddening to me to have to tell you this, my dear readers, but the fact remains that Cousin Fred is dead, and it’s all Bridget’s fault. (I’m going to have to do a post about that soon, too.)

Now, this is the sad story of Cousin Fred in full, starting at the end, and then going back to the beginning. (It makes the most sense that way, you see.)

The End: Bridget killed her cousin Fred. (And yes, I know I’m repeating myself, but it’s important for you to realize that that grievous information is the end of the story, not the start. And now that you know what the end is, we can move on to the start.)

The Start: It all happened one day on boredonline.net, the website I first met my evil twin on. Bridget and I were on at the same time, and we were bored. With nothing else to do, we were pm’ing each other, and in one of those pm’s, one of us—I think it was me—said something like “Hey, let’s switch accounts and confuse everyone.” So, a few days later, we gave each other our passwords, and went on each other’s accounts. The plan was this—to make random, weird posts to utterly confuse other people and ruin each other’s reputation. (For instance, I posted as Bridget saying I loved all music by Miley Cyrus.) We even switched avatars and signatures to further confuse people. (Though I don’t think anyone even noticed, really. Sad.)

So anyway, I posted on one thread as Bridget, saying “I think people are beginning to suspect I killed my cousin Fred.” (It later was deleted by a moderator who had no sense of humor.)

And that is how the story of Cousin Fred (and his murder) came into being.

Now, Aunt Maggie is an entirely different story. Perhaps I shall talk a bit about her later…. *evil laughter*

And, to end this post on a cheerful note: Don’t say more, say Mordor!

13 comments:

Ranya said...

NOooooooo!!! *wails* Is nothing sacred? :(

And the sad thing, is that I can't think of anything to post on you, LOL.

Katrina said...

Poor Fred.

-trinamariah
P.S., LOVE your blog!

Lanta said...

yay! Another reader! Thanks, trina! :D

*laughs at Bridget and says nothing*

Rose Marchen said...

Ahh! My niece killed her cousin! Horror and scandal. Have you killed any one Lanta? It would be shame if you haven't. Murderers are such exciting people.


*sniff* You have not commented on my blog yet! Ah! And you have more followers than me! No fair!


I notice I keep talking to Lanta and not Bridget...

Bridget, hello! Do you wish to elope with anyone?


~ Aunt Rose

Ranya said...

I have been killed by Lanta so many times I once started to make a list of all the ways. =P

ROFL, no, I'm going to legally marry my ex-assassin, but thanks for the offer. :)

Lanta said...

Oh, auntie Rose-- I'm so shocked! You want you neice to be a murderer as well as eloping? (you WERE the one who encouraged me, don't deny it! I constantly remind Elena of the fact (j/k))

HA! WE HAVE MORE FOLLOWERS THAN YOOU! Er, *cough* that is, I'm sorry you don't have as many followerers as us!

I shall comment on your blog!

Lanta said...

Oooh... yeah, I've killed bridget lots of times, and we've killed our parents in pm's more times than I can count.....

Ranya said...

If murderers are interesting, you shouldn't be able to tear your eyes off our blog, ROFLOL.
I'm even writing a murder story. :-)

Rose Marchen said...

Lanta - Well, you could sign up as a follower to my blog! I am not as interesting as you, but I can work on that. Hmmm... interesting posts... I could write about the time I was acting out all the people from the Lord of the Rings (well, everyone except Gollum) and Legolas was talking to Soyousay (the Nazgul my sisters and I named) on a cell phone while fighting the battle of Helm's Deep! *reflects* Yes, that was very interesting.


Bridget - Actually, it is a good thing you don't want to illegally marry someone. Elena might ban me from the forum! And I shall be waiting to hear more on this murder story.


So... do you two know each other IRL?

Ranya said...

ROFLOL. Soyousay? *dies laughing*

We couldn't let Elena ban you! :o You're far too fun. ;) Lol, I'm not sure if I'm ever going to let anyone read it.... Its kind of.... bloody.

No. :'( We have come to the conclusion that if we ever meet, we shall subsequently die of laughter. :P

Lanta said...

Cor Fearan is a sooo much better name! :P
Yes, definitely do a blog post about that. I want the full story. All you do on your blog is post videos! So not fun :P
If E;lena bans you, I shall quit the forum! (well, no, not really--I'd probably die of FTN-deprivation or something)

Rose Marchen said...

@ Bridget - Yep! Soyousay! We named him so because whenever the Witch King gave his opinion on something (ex. "They shall head for Weathertop, and then we'll get them!) he would reply "So YOU say." He is quite a charming ringwraith, actually.

@ Actually, we, er, I have done many hilarious LotR based actings. I shall write about those that I can remember. I apologize for posting only vidoes. I am funny (I think...) sometimes! Like that one post in my Week of Fearsome, er, Feminine, Distress - I mean Dress!


I doubt Elena would ban me, but to be on the safe side, I think I shall not participate in anymore elopements!

Dayandnight said...

A moderator with no sense of humor... ROTFL!