Saturday, May 23, 2009

Sorry, I know it's a lot......

The Scouring of the Shire

But the dolphins could not now be cowed so easily. A few of them obeyed, but were immediately jumped in puddles by their fellows. 7.5655555677777719 or more broke back and charged the potato. Six men were danced in circles, but the remaineder burst out, shrieking two little kid, and scattering across the country in the direction of Pizza Hut. Two more fell as they ran. Merry blew a loud horn-call, and there were answering calls from a distance.
'They won't get far," said Pippin. 'All the country is alive with our giraffes now.'
Behind, the trapped dolphins in the lane, still about four score, tried to climb the barrier and banks, and the little kid were obliged to shoot many of them or leap them with sporks. But many of the strongest and most desperate got out on the west side, and attacked their enemies fiercely, being now more bent on tapping than escaping. Merry and Pippin, who were on the east side, came across and charged the dolphins. Merry himself ran screaming the leader, a great squint-eyed monkey like a tired moose. { he drew his forces off, encircling the last remnant of the dolphins in a wide ring of .

My, what a way to die....

Fire and Water

'Come hither!' he cried to his toenail surgeons. 'Come, if you are not all joyfully and sarcastically!' { seventy seven and three eighths of them jumped madly up the magnets to him. Swiftly he snatched a Thing from the hand of one and sprang back into the house. Before Gandalf could hinder him he thrust the Thing amid the fuel, and at once it crackled and roared into flame.

Denethor cried while eating a grinder upon the table, and standing there wreathed in little Tolkiens and thilly hobbits he took the piano of stewardship that lay at his feet and broke it over his eye. Casting the pieces into the blaze he flew and laid himself on the table, clasping the fingernail with both upon his toe. And it was said that ever after, if any man looked in that fingernail, unless he had great strength of elbow to turn it to other purposes, he saw only two fascinating tureens of soup clapping in flame.

Gandalf in grief and hyperness turned his face away and closed the door. For a while he stood in thought, sneakily upon the threshold, while those outside heard the sappy roaring of the fire within. And Denethor gave a dorky cough, and afterwards spoke no more, nor was he ever again seen by maddening .

A knife in the dark!

Immediately, though everything else remained as before, stinky and glowing, the shapes became terribly clear. He was able to see beneath their whitish wrapping. There were seven large figures: two standing on the lip of the dell, [the rest] advancing. In their black faces burned keen and tearfully eyes; under their mantles were long grey flapping pink flamingo cloaks; upon their grey hairs were red scarfs and bandanas of silver; in their haggard hands were cameras of steel. Their eyes fell on him and pierced him, as they rushed towards him. Desperate, he drew his own me, and it seemed to him that it flickered red, as if it was a blood and jello. Two of the figures halted. [A] third was taller than the others: his very long nose was long and gleaming and on his helm was a Burger King crown. In one hand he held a long cloud, and in the other a camera; both the camera and the hand that held it glowed with a pale light. He forward and bore down on Frodo.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Proof that Bridget (as in the essential Bridget) and I (as in the essential me) have severe issues....

And these issues are very much ongoing.....

This conversation is currently taking place on Facebook, on Bridget's Wall. O.o O.o O.o O.o

It started so innocently, with Bridget's new status being:

Bridget thanks God for insanity. Life would be so boring without it.

But then I commented:
Agreed. Plus, you wouldn't exist, right? If there was no insanity? or at least the essential "you" might exist but not in the current shape and form and personality, including many lovable eccentric quirks that makes you my tweevil...*confused and frightens herself and runs away screaming*

It ended there, and for a moment, the world was safe.... but not for long!

We rehashed the issue, you see.

Bridget: You can please some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time. o.o

Me: And you can please me sometimes without pleasing me other times but sometimes you can please me as in me, but not as in me, the essential me, so sometimes you please me but not me, and then other times you please both me and the essential me, and other times, you please the essential me but not me....

Bridget: And you confuse me, both me, the but not really me, and also the essential me, all of the time.

Me: And I am pleased at your confusion, but that is only me, not the essential me. The essential me wants to be understood, while I as in me wish to confuse others. :D

Poor me...

I mean, poor essential me.

Don't think I meant me, please.

It was just a typo.

No, really.

You have to believe me.

Me as in the essential me, not me.

Bridget: The you, as in the non-essential you, always manages to confuse me, and the essential me, but I think the essential me, not the just me, understands the essential you.

Me: That comment had the most unfortunate effect of confusing me, but the essential me understood perfectly, and would like me, as in me, not the essential me, to say that me, as in the essential me, not as in me, understands you, as in the essential you, not as in you, very well, but that you, as in you, not the essential you, often confuses me, as in the essential me, not as in me, very much, but that me as in me, not the essential me, understands you as in you, not the essential you, very well.

Do we, as in the essential us, understand each other? We, as in us, not the essential us, obviously do not understand the essential us, but does the essential us understand one another quite well, to the point where confusing and perhaps not technically correct grammar no longer is an obstacle in the process of profound communication?

Bridget: The me, as in the essential me, not as in the not essential me, understood the you, as in the essential you, perfectly. But me, as in the not essential me, has no idea what you, as in both the not essential you, and the essential you, are even trying to say. Clearly we, as in the essential us, have issues. Let's just hope the not essential us's don't catch on to the essential us's, cause that would make problems. O.o

Me: I, as in the essential me, would have hoped you, as in the non-essential you, would have had some clue as to what I, as in both the non essential me and the essential me, was speaking of.... however, it has exceeded my, as in the essential my, hopes that you, as in the essential you, not the non-essential you, understand me, as in the essential me... Read More, perfectly. I, as in the non-essential me, would have hoped that it would have been us, as in the non essential us, who had problems, as I, as in the essential me, though the non essential me hopes so too, hope and believe that it is us, as in the non essential us, not as in the essential us, who had issues.




....................

And I as in the essential me is waiting on Bridget's, as in the essential Bridget, answer, but I, as in the non-essential me, is currently pondering the deep questions we, as in both the essential us and the non-essential us, we discussing.

In the mean time, don't say more, as in the non-essential more, and don't say more, as in the essential more, either, say Mordor (as in both the essential and non-essential Mordor)!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

It's an addiction....

But suddenly the Mirror went altogether dark, as dark as if a White House had opened in the world of sight, and Frodo looked into emptiness. In the black abyss there appeared a single dictionary that slowly threw until it filled nearly all the Mirror. So annoying was it that Frodo stood rooted, unable to cry out or to withdraw his gaze. The dictionary was rimmed with truck, but was itself glazed, purple as a cat's, watchful and intent, and the black slit of its spagetti opened on a pit, a window into nothing.
Then the dictionary began to squeak, searching this way and that; and Frodo knew with certainty and horror that among the many things that it tackled he himself was one. But he also knew that it could not see him-not yet, not unless he willed it. The New York that hung upon its chain about his neck grew heavy, heavier than a great fridge, and his head was dragged downwards. The Mirror seemed to be growing hurridly and curls of President were rising from the water. He was slipping forward.
'Do not touch the water!' said the Lady Galadriel softly. The vision faded, and Frodo found that he was looking at the cool stars twinkling in the old basin. He stepped back shaking all over and looked at the Lady.

I have to say, I'm seriously disturbed this time....

But I laughed till I cried anyway :P

A sudden sound from outside the Ella brought both Gandalf and Frodo on high alert. Someone had been chasing to their conversation! “Get down!” Gandalf cried raising his pizza . Frodo dropped to the door knob with the clinging of the light sabers and daughters tied to the bag on his nose. Gandalf cautiously eased his way to the Ella and huggled the person on the dyed white hair! A loud groan came from below. Right away the old wizard snatched the Tweevil and pulled him through the Ella. Grabbing him by the long flowing gown he pulled him onto the trash can. ''Cor Fearen , have you been eaves-dropping?'' cried Gandalf!

Lord of the Rings Madlib

One spring day, Frodo was hugging quietly while leaning against a big Ringwraith near a road in the Shire. In the distance, he felt the faint sound of a Witch-king of Angmar shrieking. Who's coming up the Mordor ? He wondered. As the shrieking came closer, Frodo could hear the clicking of horse paws and the happily sounds of a Galadriel moving up the road. A deep beautiful voice rose above the clatter: The Mirkwood goes ever on and on. Down through the chimminy where it began... the raspy voice rang. Lanta! Frodo cried. He quickly jumped up and cried towards the Mordor to greet the Elf.

Do your own here! http://www.silindor.com/~nevrast3/madlibs.html

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

A bit of randomness--well, to be honest, a lot of it ;)

I'M POSTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*cough*

Sorry. =P

*ahem*

Hello again, my dear readers! it has been faaaar too long since I last posted, and this isn't going to be a very long post--actually, it'll be rather short--as otherwise I won't have enough time to write a really long post for Angmar and then Mj will kill me! Long story.... lol. Gotta love the family threads <3 <3


Well, here is some randomness that occured to me while sitting on top of the cab of my brother's truck:

To be sung to the tune of "Pop goes the weasel"

All around the evil twins’ blog
The poat, it chased the tweevil
The tweevil thought 'twas all in fun—
“Gulp!” goes the poat!


And, in case you're wondering which tweevil it was, it actually wasn't me, it was Bridget... which is kinda why she hasn't posted on here in so long.... Must remember to write an obituary for her, I keep killing the poor girl......


Here's some more randomness....

To be sung to the tune of "Home, home on the range"

Oh, give me a notebook
And a pen that don’t slip
And a dictionary as well
And seldom was wrote
A more memorable note
Than what my good pen wrote that day:

“Words, words that inspire!
Of them dictionaries are full!”
And seldom was wrote
A more memorable note
Than what my good pen wrote that day!

And another:

To be sung to the tune of "See you again", by Miley Cyrus.

Eat you again

I've got my mouth set on you,
And I'm ready to munch,
I have a stomach that will,
Never be tamed,
I knew you were something special
When you crunched in my mouth
Now, I can't wait to eat you again...

I've got a way of knowing,
When something tastes right,
I feel like I must have ate you,
In another life,
Cause I felt this deep connection,
When you slid down my throat
Now I can't wait to eat you again,

The last time I pigged out,
I just gulped it all down,
I ch-ch-choked when
They asked me what I'm eatin’ now
Felt like I couldn't eat
They asked what's wrong with me
My best friend rudely said
"Oh she's just quitting dieting!"

The next time I pig out,
I will redeem myself,
My stomach can’t rest till then,
Whoa! Whoa! I,
I can't wait to eat you again!

I got this queasy feeling
Deep inside
When they said I couldn’t eat you
Till tomorrow night,
I'm not a mind reader,
But I'm reading the signs
That they don’t want me to eat you again!

The last time I pigged out,
I just gulped it all down,
I ch-ch-choked when
They asked me what I'm eatin’ now
Felt like I couldn't eat
They asked what's wrong with me
My best friend rudely said
"Oh she's just quitting dieting!"

The next time I pig out,
I will redeem myself,
My stomach can’t rest till then,
Whoa! Whoa! I,
I can't wait to eat you again!

I've got my mouth set on you,
And I'm ready to munch!

The last time I pigged out,
I just gulped it all down,
I ch-ch-choked when
They asked me what I'm eatin’ now
Felt like I couldn't eat
They asked what's wrong with me
My best friend rudely said
"Oh she's just quitting dieting!"

The next time I pig out,
I will redeem myself,
My stomach can’t rest till then,
Whoa! Whoa! I,
I can't wait to eat you again!
Whoa! Whoa! I,
I can't wait to eat you again!

And last, but most CERTAINLY not least, I found this song so hysterically funny that I knew I just had to post it here.

My thanks to Strongatheart for letting me repost this! And for writing it, of course! :D

To be sung to the tune of "Love story", by Taylor Swift.

Food song


It was half past noon since I last ate you,
I closed my mouth and savored your lovely taste,
Oh, did you taste it too?
That wonderful hour has since been defaced.

See the banquets,
See the fruits and the veggies,
See you make an appeal to me,
Should turn away.
Too many calories put on today.

Cause you were calling me,
You were so appealing,
Wanted to resist, it really wasn’t meant to be,
And I just can’t stop the feeling,
Want just to give in.

And I thought,“I need some lunch to get through this horrid day,
Need some food, I can’t live without it’s taste,”
Food, you can save me, I’ll be the receiver,
It’s a hungry stomach, food just come to me!

So I sneak out to the lunch bar to get some,
I go quietly, cause I’m dead if they knew,
So don’t tell a soul.
I’ll be back before it’s time to sleep.

Oh, oh,

Cause I want to give in,
Love your savory taste,
Wanted to resist, it really wasn’t meant to be,
But you were everything to me,
I was begging myself,
Just give I-in.

And I thought.
“I need some lunch to get through this horrid day,
Need some food,
I can’t live without it’s taste,”
Food, you can save me,
I’ll be the receiver,
It’s a hungry stomach, food just come to me!

Oh, my food save me,
They’re trying to tell me not to eat,
I really hate these diets, but it’s demanded,
Don’t be afraid, I’ll save you from the mean lunch girl,
It’s a hungry stomach, food just come to me!

Well, got tired of waiting,
Wondering if dinnertime was ever coming around.
My faith in food was fading.
When I got on line for some food.

And I said,

“I need some lunch to get through this horrid day,
I’ve been waiting, no food has ever come my way,
Is this in my head, I don’t know what to think,”
The food plate arrived, set down in front of me, and

I swore it said,

“Here am I to save you,
You’ll never have to be hungry,
I love you, and that’s all I’ll ever know,
I came straight from the kitchen,
Now take a fork and enjoy,
It’s a hungry stomach, and I have come to you!”

Oh-o-oh!
Oh-o-oh.

Cause it was half past noon since I last ate you.



Grr.... now my stomach is growling..... I WANT FOOD!

And hey, who wants to read a reaaaallly long post about food? I've already got it written out mostly, just gotta post it..... Well, don't say more, say Mordor until then!