Friday, August 13, 2010

Want to be published?

If you are an avid writer of short stories and poetry, consider submitting to Pen in the Clouds! I'm the editor! :D

And if you prefer writing articles, check out, an e-Magazine inspiring and encouraging faith and creativity.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

On the Importance of Keeping One's Mind

Minds, my dear readers, are a terrible thing. One simply does not know what to do with them! They are, to be honest, rather frightening. Sitting inside your head, chattering incessantly-often without making the least sense-of things we neither care for nor want to hear about! Yes, it is true that minds are rather horrible. But, my dear readers, they are important, and I hope to be able to prove to you just how important.

The only thing that makes me more sad than hearing one has a mind is that one has lost it. Perhaps, if you agree with me that minds are a horrible thing to be stuck inside, you will find this statement startling, to say the least. But, O dearly loved readers-if God created us with a mind, that does seem to point toward the conclusion that He, for some ineffable but yet mysterious reason, wanted us to have a mind. Now, this may seem puzzling, to say the least, but the thing to remember is that God is above fallible human reason-which could be taken to mean that insanity is divine, but, however, is neither a point I am trying to make nor one that I deny-and thus sometimes beyond our understanding. Certainly, a mind does not seem to be a very useful thing for some, but who knows-it may even be put to some small, slight use some day!

If you happen to get to Heaven before me, though, do make a point of inquiring from God the exact purpose of minds, and do send me a letter explaining! In fact, my curiosity on this subject is so overwhelming that I shall now ask if there are any volunteers to die right now and find out for me?

No? I'm shocked. Well, perhaps I shall have a draft, then. Any eligible readers past the age of reason and in a state of grace, please write your name on this little slip and put it in the hat-what, you all are in dire need of Confession? My goodness... O.o

But, I fear I have strayed a little from my topic. Now, how could that have possibly happened? After all, we all know I always stay completely on topic and never, never ramble... at all...

Is there a reason I'm hearing laughter here? ...oh, right, the voices in my head. How clever of you to remember that. Now, as I was saying, the profound, theological purpose of God giving us minds, so far as I can figure out, is almost like a sort of game, such as egg in the spoon. Only, it's a test. I have this awful image in my head of the final Judgment Day, with God standing there staring down at all us poor people who have lost our minds, and demanding in a booming voice, "Now, where is that mind I gave you all those years ago? I'd like to take a little look at it, if you don't mind-no pun intended, of course."

And what are we to do then? Say in a quivering voice, "I'm sorry, but I think I somehow mislaid it some time ago." Well, that isn't going to make God happy any more than it would make anyone happy to hear that you lost the expensive gift they gave you for your birthday! No, readers, let's end profoundly endeavor to avoid that scenario.

The way I see it, in the depths of my most profound ponderings, is that God gave us three things which a lot of people sometimes really wish He hadn't been so quick to trust us with-a soul, a heart, and a mind. Now, the obvious reasons for each are: for the soul, to save it for God; for the heart, to lose it as many times as is humanly possible; and for the mind, to keep it intact and well-functioning as long as we are possibly able to.

Yes, that's right. We have to keep a firm grip on our minds, my poor readers. I do realize how impossible this sounds-I'm sure I've lost my mind at least seven times a day since I was born! But it always waits somewhere alllllllllllmost out of reach, looking pathetic and perhaps even whimpering a little, until I snag it and stuff it back inside my head. And I can almost hear the angels applauding politely every time I get it firmly back in place. I'm sure they think it rather silly of me to have lost it in the first place!

...And yes, now that I have finally posted for the first time in months, if you want more posts, why then, don't say more, say Mordor!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

On the Grave and Profound Subject of Lent

Bridget and I are giving up the internet for Lent, my dear readers, so bid us farewell until Easter! (Although we'll be on on Sundays, too :) )

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The World is catching on about Obama!

My dear readers, I am not the only one who firmly believes that Obama is an iguana!

Read more here:

And don't say more, say Mordor! ;)

Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Tragic and Confusing Tale of Fred's Most Unfortunate Death (A Ballad)

If you have no idea who Fred is, read this post first.

This is what happens, my dear readers, when I read too much Chesterton, then talk to Bridget on the phone, and then try to write a serious poem. I sat down and wrote on a sheet of paper a line that went "The sky was green, the rain was blood" and then sat and stared blankly at it for a moemnt, before suddenly flipping the paper over and writing "Bridget killled her Cousin Fred....."

Bridget killed her Cousin Fred
Until he was quite dead
Then confessed to it on BOL
But the mods didn't like it at all
No, the mods didn't like it at all!

"Off-topic!" the mods in horror cried
Ignoring that poor Fred had died
And of informing the Law
They never considered at all
No, they never considered at all!

But what the mods will never know
(Unless they're told, so please don't!)
Is that Sara, not Bridget, you see
About Fred had spilled the beans
Yes, about Fred had spilled the beans!

And that leaves us with the question:
Although Fred's head was quite bashed in
If, when Bridget said so, it was really Sara
When Bridget bashed his head in, was Fred killed by Sara?
Oh, when Bridget bashed Fred's head in, was it bashed by Sara?

Poor Fred is really very dead
But which of them bashed in his head?
Is Sara Bridget and Bridget really Sara?
You'll never know, so you'd better just fear 'em!
Oh, you'll never know, so you'd better just fear 'em!

And if you're disapointed at its shortness, and long for more, why then, don't say more, say Mordor!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

What happens when I read Chesterton

I love G. K. Chesterton. He's a genius. *nods* But, there comes a time after reading about 5 books in a week, that one starts thinking Chestertonian thoughts. And that's not a bad thing at all! It can be a very good thing. But it also can lead one to writing long tirades against streetlights, as it did to someone we both know. Hehe....

So, without further ado, here is my Chesterton-inspired (and very Chestertonian) rant for your reading enjoyment. :) It is rather long. O.o But I had fun writing it. *giggles*

Streetlights have, from since I first consciously took note of them, have been of indescribable horror to me. There is something inestimably dreary about how they stand, and yet drearily estimable; for it would prove a hard task indeed to find two street poles that are not alike. From one town to the next, the lights seem to stalk you, uprooting from the town you left, and flying ahead of you to appear, tired and ageless, lining the streets of the next town. But for all the terror they inspire, there can still be pity for the unending column of poles. They are lined up like prisoners in a work camp, heads bowed in exhaustion. For all their weariness, they are forced into a straight row. Never does one step out, under some penalty more effective than that of death, and they hold to the precise, exact spot where the surveyor with his straight tape commanded them to be planted and remain. And when the darkness tries to fall, the streetlights trip it up even further. Changelessly, the rows of lights stretch into the distance, maddening in its sameness, infuriating in its perfect straightness. I can never look at them, save without thinking of the crumbling columns of a cannibal temple; and can never keep from searching for past offerings. An obsolete lamplighter, perhaps. Driven mad to the death by the magic lights which need neither lighting, nor extinguishing.

Perhaps I could forgive such quaint old flickering inventions that require the twice daily round of the sooty lighter. There can even be romance found in such extinct ancestors of the streetlight. They, at least, were not identical, and were placed less exactly then these modern day abominations. The flickering, dancing light lent an air of comfort and peace to the night; like coming back to one’s home from a long day away. But the new, perfect, modern, cold hard steel streetlights have no reckoning with their burning forefathers. They ooze identical, unnatural glow, like eye-searing phosphorescence from long petrified trees; they drown the dreamy moonlight with sadistic pleasure, and stifle the stars with lurid radiation. Streetlights with one branch are common enough and the horror repeated so very often, that even such dread looses its sharp and poignant terror. But twin light poles are a sickening, startling departure from patiently borne tortures. It is as if the infuriating man whom you are just beginning to bear suddenly sprouts another head, and becomes a living sacrilege, instead of being just a curse. In these double branched disgraces, all the abominable qualities of the single branch are present, with new methods added to tax the brain. To the maddening similarity of the single poles as they stand monotonously in their procession, comes the nigh-unbearable symmetry in the very structure of the double. They are sets of eyes, mocking eyes, frenzied eyes, all in a row that goes on forever, and all staring; staring at you. If the single lighted lamps are tired workers bowed over, then the double is the bone-chilling and mind-numbing apparition of a chimera. Double headed beasts, who look both forward and back, and see all the most secret deeds. Silent, grotesque guarders over some midnight orgy, or cannibal feast.

Even the purpose of the lamps themselves is deplorable. No mystery remains in the night, for its Darkness has been taken away. Modern man looks back at the Egyptians, and laughs over their fear of going out without the sun in the sky. But take modern man, without his streetlights, in the pitch-black darkness, and he too will feel the same horror of ghosts breathing down his neck; of gods angry at being disturbed. But I would take the electric shock of sharp fear, the allure of mystery and secret hiding in the soul of the black night, over the every-night electric hum of the streetlights, that sets one’s teeth on edge. An affront against the long-suffering wisdom of nature, they are; an antidote for one of her most healing and peaceful gifts. They shed light on the trees, where the trees should stand shrouded in mystery like a sharp perfume, banishing the breath-taking, glorious night fears and replacing them with dull droning and irksome illumination. But yet, darkness with the black poles looming overhead is infinitely more terrible then night by itself. Do they move, when your back is turned, and the street is black? Do they shuffle around, quickly changing places, to stand, still and weary once more when there is light again? They are each the same, so there is no way of knowing if they had traded placed when one looked away. A macabre form of hide-and-go-seek, to be sure; with the players hiding in plain site, and all the more invisible for that. But now, I regret to say (or you rejoice to hear) that this long tirade must come to an end. Too long, I fear, have I sat with my back to the streetlights. Too long have they known my secret terror. I can write no longer, I must sneak a glance at them again, and reassure myself they are not creeping closer. It will at least set them back a few steps.

And, just as a friendly reminder (I haven't gotten to say this for a long time ^_^ *savors the moment*): Don't say more, say Mordor!

Friday, December 25, 2009

The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned.

You have enlarged the nation
and increased their joy;
they rejoice before you
as people rejoice at the harvest,
as men rejoice
when dividing the plunder.

For as in the day of Midian's defeat,
you have shattered
the yoke that burdens them,
the bar across their shoulders,
the rod of their oppressor.

Every warrior's boot used in battle
and every garment rolled in blood
will be destined for burning,
will be fuel for the fire.

For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of his government and peace
there will be no end.
He will reign on David's throne
and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
with justice and righteousness
from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the LORD of Hosts
will accomplish this.

Wishing all my readers as well as my triplets a very blessed Christmas!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

On the most Grave, Serious, and Profound subject of Facebook Quizzes...

Some time ago, I took a Facebook quiz to find out what my deep dark problem that I hide form the world is. My Facebook status after taking this quiz was:

"You have one of the most common problems in the world today. You just know how to be happy." According to this result to a Facebook quizz, happiness is a major problem that needs to be dealt with.

Join with me to combat happiness today!

Or, if your heart quails at the prospect (it is so prevailant, after all), you can simply sit there chanting "Don't say more, say Mordor!" Trust me, it helps work up the courage.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Being swallowed by NaNoWriMo, I can only say.....

10,000 WORDS A WEEK!


Sorry, all the NaNoWriMo cheerleaders on FTN are getting to me ;)

I'm currently supposed to be writing, so I am only going to say for now that there are both Poats AND Pouces in my NaNo story!

And I'm past 20,000, and still behind BOTH my worthy, absolutely insane Triplets. :P

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

A Refusal to be Thrown to the Poats

A report of a most alarming nature has reached my ears. If I do not post - NOW - I am to be thrown to the poats. Whatever praise my Equally Fair, Esteemed and Evil Triplet has heaped on my name, I know that she MEANS BUSINESS.

So here I am.

To those of you who look upon the death of a poor, innocent girl by poats as an event to watch with pleasure (much like the Olympics), I do not know WHAT to say.

For my first post, I think an introduction would be appropriate. But most of you know who I am. Of the extent of my evilness, however, you are happily unaware. I think it best to leave it that way. I have just this to say:

When you open your door... watch out. I may be behind it, ready to jump out at you and start singing showtunes at the top of my lungs. HA HA HA HA HA.

Until some other time, my pretties.

And an edit to oblige Lanta: Don't say more, say Moredor.

(Lanta, whispering from the offstage: Give it a little more OOMF!)

I beg your pardon: DON'T SAY MORE, SAY MOREDOORRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

*dies by overdose of exclamation points*

And so, instead of being thrown to the poats and killed, Delaney disappointed everyone by dying in a very unentertaining and prosaic manner. And there was not a dry eye among the readers.

The End.

On the most Dreadful and Majestic Subject of Giving Readers Proper Notice of a Spectacle

If Our most Worthy, Honerable, and most Deserving of Praise Triplet, the most Fair, Unspeakably Beautiful, and Exalted Lady Delaney does NOT POST, she shall be thrown her to the poats!

Please bring your own refreshments.