Friday, August 13, 2010

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Tuesday, August 3, 2010

On the Importance of Keeping One's Mind

Minds, my dear readers, are a terrible thing. One simply does not know what to do with them! They are, to be honest, rather frightening. Sitting inside your head, chattering incessantly-often without making the least sense-of things we neither care for nor want to hear about! Yes, it is true that minds are rather horrible. But, my dear readers, they are important, and I hope to be able to prove to you just how important.

The only thing that makes me more sad than hearing one has a mind is that one has lost it. Perhaps, if you agree with me that minds are a horrible thing to be stuck inside, you will find this statement startling, to say the least. But, O dearly loved readers-if God created us with a mind, that does seem to point toward the conclusion that He, for some ineffable but yet mysterious reason, wanted us to have a mind. Now, this may seem puzzling, to say the least, but the thing to remember is that God is above fallible human reason-which could be taken to mean that insanity is divine, but, however, is neither a point I am trying to make nor one that I deny-and thus sometimes beyond our understanding. Certainly, a mind does not seem to be a very useful thing for some, but who knows-it may even be put to some small, slight use some day!

If you happen to get to Heaven before me, though, do make a point of inquiring from God the exact purpose of minds, and do send me a letter explaining! In fact, my curiosity on this subject is so overwhelming that I shall now ask if there are any volunteers to die right now and find out for me?

No? I'm shocked. Well, perhaps I shall have a draft, then. Any eligible readers past the age of reason and in a state of grace, please write your name on this little slip and put it in the hat-what, you all are in dire need of Confession? My goodness... O.o

But, I fear I have strayed a little from my topic. Now, how could that have possibly happened? After all, we all know I always stay completely on topic and never, never ramble... at all...

Is there a reason I'm hearing laughter here? ...oh, right, the voices in my head. How clever of you to remember that. Now, as I was saying, the profound, theological purpose of God giving us minds, so far as I can figure out, is almost like a sort of game, such as egg in the spoon. Only, it's a test. I have this awful image in my head of the final Judgment Day, with God standing there staring down at all us poor people who have lost our minds, and demanding in a booming voice, "Now, where is that mind I gave you all those years ago? I'd like to take a little look at it, if you don't mind-no pun intended, of course."

And what are we to do then? Say in a quivering voice, "I'm sorry, but I think I somehow mislaid it some time ago." Well, that isn't going to make God happy any more than it would make anyone happy to hear that you lost the expensive gift they gave you for your birthday! No, readers, let's end profoundly endeavor to avoid that scenario.

The way I see it, in the depths of my most profound ponderings, is that God gave us three things which a lot of people sometimes really wish He hadn't been so quick to trust us with-a soul, a heart, and a mind. Now, the obvious reasons for each are: for the soul, to save it for God; for the heart, to lose it as many times as is humanly possible; and for the mind, to keep it intact and well-functioning as long as we are possibly able to.

Yes, that's right. We have to keep a firm grip on our minds, my poor readers. I do realize how impossible this sounds-I'm sure I've lost my mind at least seven times a day since I was born! But it always waits somewhere alllllllllllmost out of reach, looking pathetic and perhaps even whimpering a little, until I snag it and stuff it back inside my head. And I can almost hear the angels applauding politely every time I get it firmly back in place. I'm sure they think it rather silly of me to have lost it in the first place!

...And yes, now that I have finally posted for the first time in months, if you want more posts, why then, don't say more, say Mordor!