The Tragic and Confusing Tale of Fred's Most Unfortunate Death (A Ballad)

If you have no idea who Fred is, read this post first.

http://randomprofoundthoughts.blogspot.com/2008/10/rather-pathetic-though-still-tragic.html

This is what happens, my dear readers, when I read too much Chesterton, then talk to Bridget on the phone, and then try to write a serious poem. I sat down and wrote on a sheet of paper a line that went "The sky was green, the rain was blood" and then sat and stared blankly at it for a moemnt, before suddenly flipping the paper over and writing "Bridget killled her Cousin Fred....."


Bridget killed her Cousin Fred
Until he was quite dead
Then confessed to it on BOL
But the mods didn't like it at all
No, the mods didn't like it at all!

"Off-topic!" the mods in horror cried
Ignoring that poor Fred had died
And of informing the Law
They never considered at all
No, they never considered at all!

But what the mods will never know
(Unless they're told, so please don't!)
Is that Sara, not Bridget, you see
About Fred had spilled the beans
Yes, about Fred had spilled the beans!

And that leaves us with the question:
Although Fred's head was quite bashed in
If, when Bridget said so, it was really Sara
When Bridget bashed his head in, was Fred killed by Sara?
Oh, when Bridget bashed Fred's head in, was it bashed by Sara?

Poor Fred is really very dead
But which of them bashed in his head?
Is Sara Bridget and Bridget really Sara?
You'll never know, so you'd better just fear 'em!
Oh, you'll never know, so you'd better just fear 'em!


And if you're disapointed at its shortness, and long for more, why then, don't say more, say Mordor!