Don’t say more, say Mordor—the challenge

Part one

(Haha, I wrote this, the review, and the post before that, all yesterday.)

I am deeply sorry if this long awaited post is disappointing to you, my readers. I fear I am quite unable, at the moment, to give you many specific details. However, do not despair! There is a good deal of important information I am able to impart to you.

First of all, let me give you, my readers, a challenge. For a day or two, or even a week, whenever you would say “more” in an average sentence, no matter who you are talking to, say “Mordor” instead. Now, the person to whom you are speaking may be confused and ask you what you mean by saying “Mordor”. If that happens, you have several options.

1. Lean toward then, looking around suspiciously to make sure no one else is close enough to overhear you, and whisper in a confidential/frightened/threatening whisper “Don’t say more, say Mordor!” and then hurry off before they have time to ask further questions. This is the first and best response, but if there are other people within hearing distance, one of the following options is advised.

2. Glance around nervously, write the web address of this blog (http://www.randomprofoundthoughts.blogspot.com/) or simply “Don’t say more, say Mordor” down on a piece of paper, fold it into as small a shape as you can, whisper to the person “Pretend you’re looking at something else!” and then slip the piece of paper into their hand and hurry off, shooting wary, suspicious glances at the nearby people, and wondering to yourself in a threatening mutter if they suspect anything.

3. This option is advisable only if you harbor a deep distrust of the person who asked you what “Don’t say more, say Mordor” meant, or if you suspect them to be actively working against our cause. (I’ll get to that in a bit.) What you should do in this situation is to stare at them blankly as if they must be criminally stupid to ask such a question, and say very slowly, emphasizing each word, “I said Mordor. What did you think I said?” and then immediately start talking about hornets in a loud voice before the person has time to say anything. (And yes, talking about hornets is important. Other subjects simply will not do!)

Part two coming up, and that will, I assure you, contain more information. Meanwhile, while you wait in impatience, don’t say more, say Mordor!