Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Various random and profound lists

Well, my dear readers, do you want to know my hit list?

I suppose I shall take your hushed gasp as an enthusiastic “Yes!!!”

Well, here it is! :

In order—already attempted (whether failed or succeeded):
  1. Bridget _/ (yes, that's a checkmark...)
  2. Grace X (waaah! :'()
  3. Ella X (WAAAAH! *sniffles*)
  4. Vicki _/ ( :-D :-D :-D)

Well, as you can see, so far, I’m two out of four, which isn’t very good. *sighs sadly* Ah well. Eels are hard to catch, you know. They’re slippery. (Ella my eel, you’re slippery, did you know that? =P) And fuzzy wuzzy cuzzys are harder, too… like one of those cuddly panda beards, that’s what Grace reminds me of…not, not a panda bear… a koala bear! Yup! Gracey-wacey, you have a new nickname! Someone tell Gracey she has a new nickname, please… Thank you. And I THINK Grace came before Ella, but I’m not quite sure…

And now for the people who are next on my hit list!

(Insert drumroll)

  1. Rose (Yup, Auntie Rose, you’re next! *evil laugh*)
  2. Delaney
  3. Rachel

Aaaaand—that’s all for now!

Hmm… can’t think of anything to type… how about my list of Greatest Fears in this life?
All right, then, if you insist. But it’s not for the faint-hearted!

List of Greatest Fears

  1. #1. Snakes. And this includes the devil.
    #2. Spiders. All other creepy crawly sorts of things are also included in this category.
    #3. Tactful people. Just think about it for too long, and you’ll be scared, too.
    #4. Jehovah’s Witnesses. And we have them moving in down the STREET from us!!!!!! *faints in horror* It’s a good thing I have a lock on my door…but actually, you know, I think I’ll take up residence in the basement! It’s a bit safer there…
    #5. Math. Because it doesn’t make sense. Plus… it involves *horrified gasp* numbers! And it’s really just another form of child abuse, you know. What, have you ever seen an adult of sound mind and health actually doing math? Well, it was really the secret math police just pretending to be a regular, sane adult! Yes, that’s right, math police. And yes, they’ve fooled everyone for centuries. It’s not like math existed before they came along! What? Oh, of course they told you math was really invented by the ancient something-or-others! It’s all just a bunch of propaganda, you know. What, you don’t like being lied to and fed propaganda? Oh, but you’ll do it too, once you’re an adult. You won’t have a choice, you know. It’s a conspiracy all adults are a part of, even those who aren’t a part of the math police! And yes, I think I need to do a separate post about his… more coming up soon!
    #6. Being hugged by people I don’t like. And what, you might ask, is my response to this annoying problem?A. PUNCH! B. Run screaming and hope you’re faster.(Don’t worry, this probably isn’t you…if you’re reading this, you have to be someone I like. Unless you’re my brother, of course…)
    #7. Kisses. Because they’re slimy and gross, and who needs them, really? Yes, I know you are now secretly wondering if I’m really just a 10 year old pretending to be a 16 year old, but…..give me a decent, self-respecting hug over a yucky kiss any day!
    #8. Tall people. And why on earth is this so far down the list?! They deserve to be way, er, *cough* no pun intended, higher!


Well, since I can't think of anything else to add to this wonderful list, would you, my dear, privileged readers, like to see a list of the nicknames I have given people?


Here they are (somewhat in order, I hope):
Bridget = Twinny; twiplet; Briddy; Briddy-bird
Grace = Gracey-wacey; fuzzy-wuzzy-cuzzy; (and, just now) my koala bear
Ella = My eel; the precious; fuzzy-wuzzy-cuzzy
MJ = Liver; chopped liver
Rachel = Sting ray; stingy-wingy
Vicki = Jellyfish (but she didn't like it, even after I explained that it was a compliment); Vicki-wicki; (which led naturally to) my candle; Vickia; Vicksters
Lizzy = My blow-torch
Delaney = Deyla (after seeing Ella call her Dayla, so it wasn't really my own invention =P)
Zirka = Zorg; Empress Zorg, queen of the borgs


Aaaand... that's all for now. Woah, that's ALL? Time to give some unfortunate people nicknames....and why on earth don't you have a nickname yet, Rose? *horrified gasp* I must remedy this terrible error..... soooooon. ;)


So, now that that’s all over, do you want to hear the latest, earth-shattering, heart-breaking news?

It’s true. Scientists have finally proven that computers are really enchanted humans. Now, the problem that many are pondering, will mankind seek a way to free these helpless fellow-humans, or will we continue to use them for our own ends, ignoring their right to be free? Or will we simply remain in denial, pretending to ourselves that they really are just machines?
In case you, my dear readers, are in agreement with that multitude of sadly deluded nut-cases, let me prove it to you that computers really are (or were, once) human.

Proof #1. They get sick, just like we do. Yup, computers get viruses, bugs, and the flu, exactly like us!

Proof #2. They lose their temper just like we do! What, your computer hasn’t ever thrown a temper tantrum and crashed on you? Perhaps our computer is the only old, cranky one out there, then.

Proof #3. They have pets, too! And have you ever met any race besides mankind that kept pets? Animals don’t keep pets. They just eat ‘em. So that, you see, is conclusive evidence that computers are either humans, or an evolved form of human! (Scientists who favor the evolution theory are highly in favor of this second opinion. They hold that one day, all humans will be computers, and call the first theory the unfortunate remnants of superstition and the effects of telling fairy tales to children (they’re also in favor of burning all books containing fairy tales worldwide, you know).

Mordor on this later! In the meantime, follow my example, and don’t say more, say Mordor! In fact—don’t say “Mordor! Mordor!”, instead, demand “Mordor blosts! Mordor blosts!

15 comments:

Lady Turwethiel Merilwen said...

Hahaha!!!! Your posts are genius my Firefly!!!! hehe!!!

*horrified gasp* You "hit" on me?! You are really a stalker?!?! *turns and runs screaming and crying down the road* ;)

Why is it I'm catching my name more often on your blog? Haha! Don't worry, I love seeing your thoughts and comments on me! hehe!

you posted about the computers!!! *big grin* You are so....so....creative!! haha!!

Wuv you!
Your Candle

Delaney said...

You know what I heard my four-year-old brother say the other day?

"Can I have more-der fishy crackers?"

It wasn't quite Mordor, but it was close enough. ;)

Rose said...

*gasp* WHAT!??? NO nickname for me? *sniffs* And I don't have one for you either! *bawls*

Rose said...

*shakes head* You know, someday someone's going to actually believe you when you say you are a stalker, and then you'll have a hard time explaining yourself my dear.

Trina said...

I don't have a nickname either!! *Pouts*

:)

Oh my goodness, I'm afraid of Jehovah's Witnesses too!!!! Unfortunatly, our milkman is one... Good thing I already live in the basement!!
*GASP*
Oh no, you're afraid of tall people? I must be terrifying to you! *Backs away slowly* I mean no harm...

Delaney said...

Trina - A Jehovah's Witness milkman... wow. That should be in a story. ;)

Yavielmarie said...

Nnnooooo!!! shes afraid of me=( *starts crying*


( you may not know me but i feel like i know you, I here about you almost every day from Lady rose!)

Lady Rose's Sis.

P.S. I love reading your blog!!

yavielmarie said...

Oh I forgot to mention I am as tall possibly taller then Lady Rose and i am not even 13 yet! hehe!


(that's why your afraid of me)


Lady rose sis!

Lady Turwethiel Merilwen said...

Oh for heaven's sake! you are not that tall Yaviel!!! I'm taller than you are, and Lanta loves me!.....at least I think she does. Do you my Firefly? :(

Rose said...

Yup, Yavi is taller then me. :( By half an inch. And still growing... *sigh*

Anonymous said...

hahaha I am on your list. I want to meet you too! Hmm..I am thinking March 4 Life next week.... :)PM me.

Sting Ray~

Yaviel said...

I am to! I might be almost as tall as you!! We really need to see you guys again!

Elle said...

5# 6# and 7#
most definitely but snakes and spiders don't scare me! they did until i moved to farmland cause then you always encounter them!
And tall people well my best friend is sooo tall so i guess i cant be scared of them.
but im really short.

Angel_Horses said...

It's too bad I din't get to meet you, Rachel :( Heheh, maybe I could call you--would your parents freak out? :)

Elle--yay, another short person! How short are you? :P

And I've always been terrified of snakes and spiders, and I think I always will be. Kinda glad I don't live on a farm, lol :P Poor, city-girl me :( *forgets that she's supposed to be glad about it* :P

Angel_Horses said...

Oh my goodness, I didn't comment before now? *turns pale and begins to weep* It's n-not m-my f-fault! It's th-this s-stupid com-computer! It doesn't let me sign in most days, and it says the page cannot be displayed when I try to comment! :'(

So, starting from the beginning :P

Vicki--Thanks! :D

Lol, silly, not THAT kinda stalker. Just a poor lil wannabe stalker, really :( *sniffles* Please feel sorry for me!

:P Maybe because I'm calling you on the phone all the time? Lol :P

Hehe, thanks to you for the idea about computers :P

Deyla-- HAHAHAHAHA, MUHAHAHAHAHAH, MUHEHEHEHEHEH, MUHOHOHOHOHO! BRIDGET, OUR EVIL PLAN IS WOOOOORKING! WE ARE TAKING OVER THE WORLD, ONE WORD AT A TIME! :D :D :D

Rose--well, that's taken care of now, so don't be sad, my dear :P
@Rose's second comment--that's so going on my sig someday :P

Trina--OH DEAR! :O

Yavial & Trina and other tall people: When I say "afraid of", that means that I'm afraid of standing next to you becuase that makes me feel short, so I end up giving you boa constructer hugs or using your shoulder to jump higher in the air than I would be capable of by myself or using you as a pillow or trying to pick you up or...yeah. I'm very *cough* nice to tall people ;) After all, it's not their fault that they're tall, so we simply must be as nice as possible to them to make up for it and to show them that we really love them anyway. :)

Yavi--does Rpse really talk about me that much? :P *feels flattered*

Vicki--Of course I wuffle you, silly :P